Aggression – (from Latin – attack, attack) is a motivated, destructive behavior that contradicts the norms and rules of the existence of people in society, causing physical harm to the objects of attack (animate and inanimate), as well as moral damage to living beings (negative experiences, a state of tension, depression, fear, etc.).
The problem of aggressive behavior of children is very relevant today. Teachers in the school note that aggressive children are becoming more and more every year, it is difficult to work with them, and, often, teachers simply do not know how to cope with their behavior. Why are children aggressive?
Children learn about behavior patterns from three sources.
First, there is a family that can simultaneously demonstrate aggressive behavior and ensures its reinforcement.
Second, they also learn aggression when interacting with peers, often learning about the benefits of aggressive behavior (“I am the strongest and I can do anything”) during games.
Thirdly, children learn aggressive reactions not only on real examples but also on symbolic ones. At present, there is practically no doubt that the scenes of violence shown on TV screens contribute to an increase in the level of aggressiveness of the viewer, and especially of children.
Diagnostic criteria for aggressiveness for primary school children:
1. They often lose control of themselves.
2. Often they argue, quarrel with children and adults, use physical violence.
3. Deliberately irritate adults, refuse to comply with the requests of adults.
4. Often blame others for their “wrong” behavior and mistakes.
5. Are envious and suspicious.
6. Show cruelty towards people and animals (deliberately hurt).
7. They do not know how to take responsibility for their actions.
8. Show low levels of empathy in relationships.
9. Have neurological symptoms: unstable, distracted attention, weak working memory, unstable memorization.
10. They do not know how to predict the consequences of their actions (they get emotionally stuck in a problem situation).
Various family factors affect a child’s aggressive behavior :
– low degree of family cohesion; – conflicts; – insufficient closeness between parent and child; – unfavorable relationships between children; – inadequate style of family education (hypo-care, over-care); – the aggression of the father towards the mother.
Aggressive behavior of children is a kind of signal, a cry for help, for attention to their inner world, in which too many destructive emotions have accumulated, which the child cannot cope with on his own.
Features of families of aggressive children
1. In families of aggressive children, emotional attachments between parents and children are destroyed, especially between fathers and sons. Parents do not share the values and interests of each other, they have negative feelings towards each other.
2. Fathers often exhibit patterns of aggressive behavior themselves and also encourage aggressive tendencies in the behavior of their children.
3. Mothers of aggressive children are not demanding of their children, some are indifferent to their social success. Children do not have clear responsibilities around the house.
4. For parents of aggressive children, parenting and behavior patterns often contradict each other, and mutually exclusive requirements are imposed on the child. As a result, the child develops a model of defiant, oppositional behavior, which is transferred to the world around him.
5. The main educational means that parents of aggressive children always resort to: physical punishment, threats, deprivation of privileges, imposition of restrictions and lack of rewards, frequent isolation of children, deliberate deprivation of love and care in case of misconduct.
Forms of aggressive behavior:
The non-pathological form, as a rule, is characterized by a mild severity of behavioral disorders and the ability to compensate in favorable conditions. For example, the aggressive behavior of adolescents can be like age-related reactions and do not generally disturb their relationships with others.
Pathological aggression, on the contrary, is associated with qualitative changes in the components of violent behavior caused by painful changes in mental activity. Signs of pathological changes: aggressive behavior with changes in the emotional sphere and the emergence of affective-spiteful reactions; aggressive behavior with the presence of revenge, hatred, resentment; sadistic aggression.
Aggressive antisocial behavior, in general, causes a stable negative attitude of society and is a serious barrier between the individual and the people around her. Since aggression has deep biological and social roots, it is very difficult to eradicate it. Reducing its manifestations is possible through the creation of a system of effective control at several levels – society, family, school.
Psychological assistance to aggressive children
Aggressive children need a positive attitude towards themselves. This is important because their self-image is formulated mainly in negative terms and thus their inner “I” is destroyed, harming the personality. The correct attitude you have adopted towards your child affects his adequate self-perception and actions. Remember that it is only by maintaining a positive attitude towards your child that you will have a positive impact on the problem if it already exists.
Tips for parents
1. If possible, restrain the aggressive impulses of the child immediately before their manifestation.
2. Show the child the unacceptability of aggressive behavior, physical or verbal aggression towards inanimate objects, and even more so towards people. Condemnation of such behavior, demonstration of its disadvantage to the child are quite effective.
3. Establish a clear prohibition on aggressive behavior, systematically remind about it.
4. Provide children with alternative ways of interaction based on the development of their sociability, empathy, friendliness.
5. Teach constructive ways to manage anger (through vigorous activity, consciously admitting your resentment and voicing your emotions to your partner, refraining from aggressive statements and actions, forgiveness, identifying the causes of anger and working with them, finding compromises, diplomatic dialogue with the offender, etc. .) and its acceptance as a natural emotion inherent in any person.